"The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules." — Gary Gygax.



Stupid round bases

2015-11-26 14.15.03

On the third attempt I’ve finally managed to fit this damn thing onto a base. 90mm by 54mm and it barely fits. Of course, now I have a pack of Age of Sigmar size bases (including the 75mm long ovals) lying around and bugger all to do with them. I’m torn between “rebase all my Traks onto them” or “save them for when I inevitably crack and try Age of Sigmar down the line”. In the meantime I’m working out how to spell EVIL SHITBASTARD in Orkish glyphs, because this wretched machine has it coming.

Of course, those biggish oval bases come in pairs, so I had to do something with the other one.

2015-11-26 14.15.31

It’s weird, but I don’t think I’ve actually built a dragon model before. Couple of Wyverns, a Greater Daemon or two, but no dragon. And this one’s been my favourite ever since my first year in the hobby when GW scrapped the “flying cabbage” in favour of their new-fangled black-bone-and-metal undead army. This one had been in a box for decades and found his way to me in return for a Razorback that I built for Jimmy back in the summer.

Cheers mate.

[40K OSR] Back In Black

Despite what previous posts may have led you to believe, I am not actually planning on playing any Rogue Trader: I merely have a strange fascination with writing army lists for it. My preferred editions for Oldhammering are second and third (for 40K, anyway: for WFB, they remain fifth and sixth). Many a package has come and gone from the new fastness in Wales, and I now have a sizeable collection of vintage Orks plus most of the paraphernalia associated with playing second edition. (The rulebooks are currently Kindle-bound, and I don’t have any of the card tokens, though I do have a boundless supply of gemstones from the Warmachine days.)

Like a complete saddo I have been scouring Scribd for White Dwarfs that have vintage Orky battle reports in them, checking my memories of the few games I actually played against them. It’s worrying how strongly some concepts – “your first Painboy will always have the Vaxxine Squig, just accept it” springs to mind – seem ingrained in my consciousness after twenty years. Worryingly, I also found a torrent containing most of the issues around the WFB Chaos release, which may have encourage the impulse purchase of the old Realm of Chaos box. (Yes, box – not the books which everyone and their dog and especially Zak thinks are the best things ever, I mean the boxed set for fifth edition WFB, squarely in the middle of the hated Kirby era. I’m sorry. It’s where I came in and I’ll always have a soft spot for it.)

As we lurch towards Christmas and the birthday which ostensibly encouraged this sort of devil-may-care behaviour, I am doing another round of eBay trawling, on the lookout for both plastic non-Goff Ork Boyz (which don’t appear often but also don’t appear to sell well, so when they do turn up they are usually no dearer than the modern models would be) and prices for some of the stuff I’ve picked up in various bulk trades. These come up now and again, and are generally worth a punt since the real money is in the buying and selling of individual models to collectors of a completionist bent. (I should know, I’ve bought enough individual models this year.)

What’s going can be found here, on the off-chance that any of you are interested in my cast-offs: what’s on its way amounts to “more ordinary Orks”. Specifically, Orks from other clans. I quite fancy a second Weirdboy and doing something with my two spare lascannons, hence some Bad Moons, and I have that cool Blood Axe Nob who could do with a unit to lead. I have so far resisted the urge to buy the two mini-diorama Weirdboyz (the one being held up and the one being fired like a living vomit-bazooka) but if eBay smiles upon me I might treat myself before the month is out.

I’ve also stuck a couple of vehicles together. That Dreadnought kit was a bit more of a bugger than I remember…

2015-11-17 10.07.17 2015-11-17 10.07.22

Free Association

I am not supposed to have the sudden urge to run first edition WFRP, certainly not to conceive of an extended Nurgle-themed campaign that traverses the World Pond at least twice. I have other things to do. Neither am I supposed to have the SAGA/OSRD&D twitches. This is supposed to be a time in which I prepare an IKRPG scenario and a Hordes army, and work on notes for an original D&D setting, not the pseudohistorical neo-Arthurian stuff that’s turned over sleepily in my head and made noises about getting up any second now.

Perhaps it’s because efforts on the Road to SmogCon are temporarily halted for want of some decent primer. Turns out my Liquitex gesso really doesn’t like whatever the non-metal Privateer Press miniatures are made from. I am averse to a full Dettol job but a quick blast of white spray primer may be in order; the product is not up to the task. I am also mildly unnerved by how many unpainted miniatures I now seem to own: there is a mostly-assembled Oldhammer Ork army (need a few more large bases for the second Dreadnought and the Skorcha), a handful of Otherworld adventuresses, and a sundry array of persons for Frostgrave/Mordheim/D&D/other fantasy stuff. Oh, on that subject…

Heresy Miniatures deserve a huzzah. For those not in the know, Andy who runs Heresy has basically ruined his life in order to put dragon models in the hands of people who paid for dragon models which turned out to be an enormous pain in the ass to cast. Bear in mind that all these people were told up front that it may never happen, so he had the opportunity to welch whenever he felt like it and didn’t. We are talking about a bloody fool, but also a man of honour who is finally able to kick his business into life again. Buy stuff from Heresy.


For instance, this Frostgrave/Mordheim/small fantasy skirmish thing ‘warband’ is mostly Heresy stuff (the vampire in the topper, the wizard with the pointy wizard hat and all the ghouls). Heresy ghouls are awesome.

While I’m doing shoutouts, let’s talk about two not-shit podcasts.

First: Dungeonpunx. First episode’s a bit crackly but it’s solid. Five British blokes and a dog rambling loosely about games, music and stuff, strictly by/for functional human beings and not millimetre-counting tryhards. I hear they like Frostgrave.

Second: Combo Smite. Very focused on one game, very into that game (the word “meta” is used without irony), but basically chill about it. Receives brownie points for doing battle reports that talk about why people do the things they do in games and what they hope to get out of it. This is the way a battle report should be done.

And finally: while browsing old White Dwarfs on Scribd, I stumbled upon the Chivalry rules in issue 74 or thereabouts. Delightfully, it has the card-based choose-a-location-to-attack-or-defend system which would later pop up in Freebooters’ Fate. Is there no idea GW didn’t have first?

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